ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
