well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
