One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
