Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
