He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
