My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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