jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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