I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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