Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
