There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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