ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
