For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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