Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
