Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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