...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
