Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
