I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
