they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
