It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
