She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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