I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
