i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
