The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
