Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
When are your genitals available?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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