WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
