can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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