Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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