Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
