Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize