i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
