My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
