She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
