i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
