How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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