Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
