Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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