He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
