she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize