I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
