At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
