i think my tv is drunk
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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