I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
