I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
