If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
