this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
