Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
This show inspires me to have sex in space
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
