I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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