New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
