WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
