John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
