Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
