Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
