God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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