I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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