the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
