He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
