no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
