"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
