Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
