Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
