did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize