You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize