so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize